Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
