she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize