are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
