I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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