wrigley field is MILF paradise
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
