I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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