it hurts more in the daytime
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
