Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
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How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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