Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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