my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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