All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
