just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
