I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Someone signed my nipple.
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