this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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