Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize