Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
