i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
