idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A+ Viking dick
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