just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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