This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
