he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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