omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
