it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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