shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm both gender and math confused
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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