Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i've created a new STD.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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