I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
