halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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