Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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