yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
