What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this beer tastes like vomit already
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
