Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm passing your future prison.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
