I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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