It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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