omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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