I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
