Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
