I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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