He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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