I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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