small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
