Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Less talking, more tequila
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
