Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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