I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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