I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
