I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
