The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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