I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
