I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize