Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
