So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
