i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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