Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
