My nipple is on Facebook.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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