I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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