we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
