i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Vodka?
Forever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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