marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
