There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
