so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
