I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
