So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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