the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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